Improvement on dissapearing duration

Ok..this time is better..After 14 months of disappearing...Seriously, writing in a blog definitely not my first choice of tea. And why suddenly I remember this space, while is just a random thought pass through my mind. That's it! Maybe I am too bored and think of something better to do rather than just watch some youtube or movie for the past few hours while waiting for someone to appear.

Compare to the last blog that I post, that is totally 360 degrees of change in my life. Everything has change. Life, family, job maybe relationship. Even myself, I might be changed from the past 14 months. First, I changed my job again. Yeah, it seems every job I changed there will be a blog been posted here. Coincident? Or just timing. I am back to the company which I had spent the most time previously in my career past history. Yeah. Chinese saying, good horse wont went back to the previous field to eat the grass. So, I am not a good horse than. Who cares by the way... Haha.... 3rd month in the new (well, not that new new) role in this company. Struggle as usual but definitely I will strive for another few months before I make any decision. Life definitely need to try and give sometime on it.

Family wise, I am totally alone now for the past 3 months. Well, I am still surviving. And my friends around felt that I can overcome this pretty well or more than better. But, this is me. Things still keep inside me, maybe this is my way of recovering and maybe I don't know how to ask for help as I think this is my own problem and I should overcome it. That's me. Certain time, I am really hope someone to rely on but in the meanwhile I am afraid to rely on someone and I lost my stand. Pretty dilemma huh. Maybe I should look for balance in between.

Recently, something really changed. Someone might be appear. And it seems too fast for me to cope sometime or to adapt. Someone is there for me, offer his time and life that wish I could spend the rest of the life with him (well, at least this is what he told me). If this happen, it is a long distance relationship. I would always wonder, what on earth I could make myself into this scenario. I thought I will be single for the rest of my life (maybe my low esteem self caused me to think of it). But, things are moving fast. Too fast. Maybe we chat a lot on our future view. And I am keep thinking, am I suitable to be a wife? Housewife? Mom? I really don't know. Seriously. Maybe I have never been in a relationship before, so all these question pop up in my mind now. A lot of them. That's why it come to me of thinking am I suitable to rely on someone? Will it be too rely on him? We haven't before but if everything smooth, we will meet pretty soon. He has his career and he is ready for me to rely on him and he hopes that I can be a full time housewife which I doubt to myself. Seriously. I haven't know or experience to be someone girl friend. Now, thinking of being someone wife?! Oh my God. I am thinking as well. Maybe Love is the answer. When you love someone, you will sacrifice for him. But, in the meanwhile, will I lost myself? This is what keep myself suspending. People always don't think too much. Am I thinking too much until my mind can't stop? Should I just give it a try and just faced whatever obstacle waiting in front of me. A quote from Albert Einstein that I read in facebook which is ''A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new'' So, I just have to move on and don't think that much?

Recently watch some Love Variety Show in youtube and I am thinking myself, what kind soulmate that I am looking for? I need someone which is mature than me and let me depends on, help me to solve my problem when I am facing one. I know he can do that, but just that am I ready to be someone he needs? Someone to take care of his house and to become his children's mom? See, now it goes. My mind keep spinning and spinning. I should make it stop. Chinese saying, saw a step, move a step. Things will clear and solve when the time comes. Don't think too much as this is always what I unintentionally did. For him, I am a straight forward person and sincere person. I am such a person in nature but just that I can't while in the society. He appreciate that from me and I am appreciate that I can be honest and talk direct to him for discussion. I like this kind of feeling by not hiding anything. If success, I have to sacrifice my comfortability in my own country, my friends and family to move to somewhere else which I need to start to adapt everything from scratch.

As a conclusion,  life change. Sometime I am thinking too much, but I believe everything that I encounter is a lesson in my life. Life is all about chapters of lesson and challenges we face everyday.

Hope in this next blog, I am in a happier life. Till then, we shall meet again. Adios!

After 22 months of dissapearing...

Well...well...well....Add a post after 22 months...This is just me..Really me..I am also forgot that I had this blog spot until I heard a nice song which I want to put somewhere as a background song..and Tada~~ here am I...Reading back some articles that I wrote before, it was like wow...my last article was about my first meet up with customer on my previous job..Yeah, I am saying during my previous job... I am working now in a new job environment and coming to 3rd month after 2 more days. And this is how I treat this blog space... I am sure a lot of spider web and 'lingzhi' in here... Well, I am really not fond of writing and I am definitely not a good writer. I am not good in writing to express my thoughts because my mind always win my hands on speeding. I rather talk to express, so, I can be very talkative to some certain group of peoples.

I read through one blog that I wrote (in another blog space), I was shock that I wrote that. First, is was too long for my style. Second, the english not bad huh. I relize, need to touch more frequent in English to prevent weaken my ability on it. English, please don't leave me...I still need you...Haha....

Well, that is all for now... Hope to myself that I will appear again sooner than 22 months.. :p

1st Experience

After worked for 3 years of sales, today 1st experience meet customer face to face with my manager...Learn anything? Nope.. Coz they just talk crap...lolz...This skill I master very long time but to certain people or group ( crappers). I sat there see how they talk lo, the lady boss not around, so talk to the employee..Talk about their children ( =.= which I don't know how to involve in)..Manage to talk for awhile then left the place...Rapport very important, becoz my manager has strong rapport with them, so this is how it goes.. Waiting she bring me to some new customer, and that is the skill I should learn...How to tackle customer and how to handling the objection...
Hope I can success in this field..

Silvy...silvy...

Driving my silvy, gave me back the feeling of a new driver..haha... everything have to be more careful and not use to anything and also more pressure to ensure not kena scratch so fast...yesterday even my mom gave me lecture on driving car until I am a little bit of peik cheik said, mom I am not 1st day driving...sorry mom...hehe
Just now at the traffic light, mostly I will be the lead among the cars. But today saw got other car past through me, in a split second, feel pretty weird..lolz..I am driving slower or the car is more stable and quieter...I am also not sure. Anyhow, I still love you. You are my 1st brand new car....

Silvy...my little silvy

Finally, my silvy is here....Not easy to own him....have to really take care of him....In the future, still need him to help me in my new job...Today is his birthday....Happy birthday, silvy and welcome to my home....

3rd day of my 5 days holidays

Quite sometime did not get the chance to holiday and spend my time at home. Today is Sunday and it is the 3rd day spending time at home. What I did? Just went in to some of the proton and perodua showroom and tint shop, the rest of the time, watch pps at home... Is this quality time or live meaningless at home? I do felt peace and relax these 2 days but in a bit of dilemma (as usual) of little bit of anxiety and worried. About what? No idea.
I think I had 2 sides of me, some said the angel and the demon, the good and the evil. Is not that I will do something evil or something criminal. This is something what we should think, we should think what we have been taught and learn when we grew up, or follow the actual way which is totally opposite of what had been taught and know.
Maybe these few days I have more time to think about thoughts and other stuff...
Oh well...my new car is coming...hopefully I made the right choice and no regret... I know year end should not buy any car now, but I always go for it, if I want the thing...

Thoughs after watching Wall Street...

Wall Street...nice movie...everyone has his own interpretation after watching d movie...money never sleep and human never sleep becoz of money...but no one really owns the money. The money in the bank is not own by us (it owns by the bank, the bank decide which to invest even high risk plan), even the money in our hand is not own by us. It will just gone in a split of second...No one really knows what is happening on the global economic because it capitalize by someone which we hardly know... A lot of people in the market actual invest something which they hardly know. Everything is manupulative and trust me, human are easy to get manupulated without knowing.

I am not a person who really reads about econ, business, finance and management. I am not a person who studied and major with degree in business. But, now I am working in the front line of a company. When watching this movie, a lot of terms and the saying, I really don't quite understand or maybe I need to take time to digest and to interpret.

This movie shows how human have the greed not only in money but also fame, satisfaction in success and called this as game between humans... But at the end, family still the most important for a human being. What is the meaning you have 100 billions but there is no one to love, no one to care and no one to share with.

A question for myself.. Do I want to be a simple person or I want to become a manipulatative person?